| These are some random
impressions of a scouser abroad in New South
Wales and Victoria in Australia in 2007. I found
the Australian country, people and lifestyle
fantastic and can't wait to get back. |
| |
| To
help Scousers settle in, Sydney has Liverpool,
Lime Street and Birkenhead. |
| It rains in Oz
too. |
| Aussie
banknotes are waterproof. We were told that this
is because butch Aussies forget to leave their
wallets behind when surfing. More likely is that
most Aussie banknotes are going to get soaked in
beer at some point. |
| Sydney Harbour
Bridge is slightly more impressive than the
Widnes-Runcorn Bridge. |
| We were told
that the reason the Blue Mountains are called the
Blue Mountains is because they're blue. |
| Kangaroos do
indeed box, and not just Queensberry Rules - some
neat Taekwondo too. |
| Koalas tend to
remain out of sight in the wild unless flattened
in the road. |
| Aussie
hospitality: we were given a personal tour around
a winery in the Hunter Valley and then tasted 16
wines as far as I can remember; our host got
drunk with us. |
| We thankfully
encountered no Fosters or Castlemain lager while
in Oz. Australians couldn't give a XXXX about
what they export to the poms. |
| Forget about
the Bay of Naples - see the Pacific beaches and
die. |
| The official
version of Rolf Harris's evergreen classic Tie
me kangaroo down, sport mercifully does not
now include the verse 'Let me abo go loose, Bruce
... ' |
| Despite their
reputation, the dunnies (rustic toilets) we
encountered would be considered luxurious by the
average rural Frenchman. Spiders' webs can be a
worry though. |
| The moon is
upside down. There is still a man in the moon,
but he is pensive and gloomy looking rather than
fat and jolly. |
| Kookaburras are
good value for money. We watched one steal a chop
from a barbie and then fly off and have a good
laugh in a tree with all of its mates. |
| Nesh Aussies:
rare but not unknown. We arrived at a nice little
B&B on a sweltering day and our room was like
a sauna. On going to bed, we found the electric
blanket had been left on. |
| Language
lesson: The Aussie for yes is yeeeairss.
Melbournites are quite posh. They say things like
'fick orff'. Scousers returning home say stuff
like 'arright Bruce' and 'no worries Wack'. |
| The southern
night sky is brilliant: the Southern Cross, Alpha
Centauri, the Magellanic Clouds, etc. Orion is
upside down (wouldn't you just know it? - I wish
they'd stop tampering with things). The sun still
rises in the east, but then has a disconcerting
habit of heading north. |
| A good
combination: parrots and earplugs. |
| Lizards are
also good value. Quite large ones sun themselves
in the road or hang out in bars. |
| Kangas are
certainly cute. Koalas are cute too but
definitely not cuddly. A woman was hospitalised
after trying to rescue an injured one. |
| To feel like a
fully paid up Aussie, eat Vegemite on toast for
breakfast. |
| There is a
decent cheese called Mersey Valley - recommended
for homesick Scousers. |
| I was impressed
by an institution known as the drive-in
bottle shop. Aussies don't like to waste any
time when they have a thirst on. |
| We never saw an
Aussie 'throw another shrimp on the barbie' Paul
Hogan style. However, almost anything else that
moves is a potential candidate. |
| The Aussie coat
of arms features an emu and a kangaroo, allegedly
because neither can go backwards. More likely is
that both make great burgers. |
| Aussies are not
into portion control. I had a helping of ribs
that was the size of one of the smaller Home
Counties. |
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| Freely licensed
images (the flag, the dunny, the koala, the
stars, the Vegemite and the coat of arms)
courtesy of Wikipedia Commons. |
