|These are some random
impressions of a scouser abroad in New South
Wales and Victoria in Australia in 2007. I found
the Australian country, people and lifestyle
fantastic and can't wait to get back.
help Scousers settle in, Sydney has Liverpool,
Lime Street and Birkenhead.
|It rains in Oz
banknotes are waterproof. We were told that this
is because butch Aussies forget to leave their
wallets behind when surfing. More likely is that
most Aussie banknotes are going to get soaked in
beer at some point.
Bridge is slightly more impressive than the
|We were told
that the reason the Blue Mountains are called the
Blue Mountains is because they're blue (I didn't
bother contributing my knowledge of the optical
properties of eucalyptus oil vapour).
indeed box, and not just Queensberry Rules - some
neat Taekwondo too.
|Koalas tend to
remain out of sight in the wild unless flattened
in the road.
hospitality: we were given a personal tour around
a winery in the Hunter Valley and then tasted 16
wines as far as I can remember; our host got
drunk with us.
encountered little Fosters or Castlemain lager
while in Oz. Australians couldn't give a XXXX
about what they induce the poms to drink.
However, genuine amber nectar is available - it
just doesn't go under those names.
the Bay of Naples - see the Pacific beaches and
version of Rolf Harris's evergreen classic Tie
me kangaroo down, sport mercifully does not
now include the verse 'Let me abo go loose, Bruce
are always a worry in dunnies (rustic toilets).
|The moon is
upside down. There is still a man in the moon,
but he is pensive and gloomy looking rather than
fat and jolly.
good value for money. We watched one steal a chop
from a barbie and then fly off and have a good
laugh in a tree with all of its mates.
rare but not unknown. We arrived at a nice little
B&B on a sweltering day and our room was like
a sauna. On going to bed, we found the electric
blanket had been left on.
lesson: The Aussie for yes is yeeeairss.
Scousers returning home say stuff like 'arright
Bruce' and 'no worries Wack'.
night sky is brilliant: the Southern Cross, Alpha
Centauri, the Magellanic Clouds, etc. Orion is
upside down (wouldn't you just know it? - I wish
they'd stop tampering with things). The sun still
rises in the east, but then has a disconcerting
habit of heading north.
combination: parrots and earplugs.
also good value. Quite large ones can be seen
sunning themselves in the road or hanging out in
certainly cute. Koalas are cute too but
definitely not cuddly. We heard that woman was
hospitalised after trying to rescue an injured
|To feel like a
fully paid up Aussie, eat Vegemite on toast for
|There is a
cheese called Mersey Valley - one for
|I was impressed
by an institution known as the drive-in
bottle shop. Aussies don't like to waste any
time when they have a thirst on.
|We never got to
see an Aussie 'throw another shrimp on the
barbie' Paul Hogan style. However, almost
anything that moves (or not even that in the case
of roadkill) is a candidate for this treatment.
|The Aussie coat
of arms features an emu and a kangaroo, allegedly
because neither can go backwards. More likely is
that both make great burgers.
|Aussies are not
into portion control. I had a helping of ribs in
one place that was the size of one of the smaller
to the parent site
images (the flag, the dunny, the koala, the
stars, the Vegemite and the coat of arms)
courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.